Was it transcendent?
Maybe a little. Can something be a little transcendent?
But not in the way I was dreaming. See, I was dreaming that I'd walk into the mall and, since I had a new and genuinely positive attitude about clothes and my very own body, the ability to create beauty from store racks would suddenly roar like Niagra through my veins. I had visions of sisters and sister-in-laws, and that cute girl from church, and that one friend and the other one who dresses so darn well twisting and collapsing into little ol' me standing perfectly fashioned in front of the dressing room mirror.
But when I stood in front of the dressing room mirror with the items that gave me that come hither look, I still looked just exactly like me. Well, I looked exactly like me from five years ago before I had a baby and then another baby and then another baby and then another baby. And I liked looking like that me.
What really set me sailing happily backward was when I slipped on some American Eagle jeans. I just love 'em. I haven't had them on my hips for years and years even though I wore my last pair to the bitter, torn end. And Old Navy - what a dear, old chain store you are to me. Though we've been separated through the years, I really think this time I am back for good. And Kohls, you faithful standby of mine, you unglamorous, mall-detached girl. Though you have been with me through these bumpy years, last night you gave me exactly what I felt like I needed now.
If you're wondering what I got minus the verbosity, here's the hard numbers from Friday night: two pairs of jeans, one pair of green...ummm...I don't even know - I'm sure they've got a name - but they're green pants you'd expect me to have in my closet (can I say elastic waistband!), two cute Old Navy blouses (maybe I can get away with calling them that - when does a shirt qualify as a blouse?), and three fantastic different colored scoop neck t-shirts that I'm going to wear for the next three days because they feel good to me. Oh and a belt and a necklace. The belt and the necklace are the two items I got to prove I was trying to grow up.
So help me...here's the little, bitty transcendent experience I've got to tell you about. I had to wait in a longish line at American Eagle so I got to study the folks around me. I saw well-dressed, be-earinged, be-make-uped, be-tall-booted, be-sweatered, be-layered women. And though I was impressed and always will be, I realized I really, really, really, really didn't want to be that. Not in a looking-down on it way did I not want to be that, but in an I'm-just-not-that-way way did I not want to be that. I'm blue jeans and a t-shirt (and now a belt!) and that's all. I'm long hair and brushed teeth. That's it.
When I told Spouse-who-loves-me-because-he's-nuts that I came out who I was before I went in, he smiled. What do you know, he likes me just the way I am (although I think he digs me not having to hitch my pants up anymore).
2 comments:
Hooray Sister! Very cute clothes - you look faaantastic! I love the jeans - and that's not easy to find jeans you love. I tried on the same Old Navy shirt and almost bought it (it looks better on you than it did on me). Cute, cute, cute, and funny too. And a good writer! :)
That's so funny. As I was looking for clothes, I started to wonder why we're not all walking around wearing the same thing. Why is it that I can go to Walmart and not see anyone wearing my shirt when there are only about ten shirts out there to be worn?
It's a mystery.
Your suggestions for clothes were my guide. I'm still thinking a Shabby Apple dress at some point. I'm just afraid of committing before trying on.
Oh and thanks for telling me I'm a good writer. But be careful, because it will definitely go to my head and then I will write a really, really, really long reply to your comment.
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