Thoughts on My Little Girl

Lets see if I can sneak something in here. Little baby girl just finished eating, but she sure likes being held so who knows how long she'll let my fingers touch this keypad instead of her. Is it a coincidence that all my babies never let me put them down or is there something going on with Mama here? hmmmmmm.

Thought 1: Right after baby girl was born I looked over and saw her in the warmer with the hustle and bustle of nurses gathered 'round and Dad circling behind the liquidity of the scrubs trying to get first pictures. And I didn't feel much more than relief that my ordeal was over. I also had the thought that it was strange that the squiggly thing over there was one of my children. Then the nurses slowed down and dispersed out the door except one who brought me my little girl and I thought, "well this is a nice, squishy, turtle-headed baby isn't it?" And then I spent the next twenty-four hours holding, nursing, shh-ing, bouncing, and gazing at my baby. Most of the time it was just me and her in the tiny hospital room. And I absolutely fell in love - real, true, deep, 4ever love. I hear that some people gush with love from the second they see their baby - but this is how it works for me. Oh, just so you know, my baby girl, she's wonderful, beautiful, perfect and the best.

Thought 2: My husband called me while he was on duty at home and I was still in the hospital and said, "Well, you don't have to worry about any mean antelopes tonight." And I said, "Huh?" And he said daughter number one, during family prayers that evening, from the depths of her pious soul, said, "thank you that Mommy and Daddy won't get killed by any mean antelopes." She is very thoughtful and also very concerned about her parents. Most especially she is concerned about our marriage and her belief that we lack one. Many nights she has prayed, "thank you that Mommy and Daddy might get married." This train of thought kind of coincides with my dreams. I'm always trying to figure out how to tell my bishop that Dan and I want to get married without getting in trouble since we already have four children.

Thought 3: As I spent time grinning goofily over baby girl's open eyes I realized that these children of mine are what it is all about. I probably needed that reminder. Everything else, all the little goals I have, all the silly worries, I saw them for what they were against the long fingers and feet of my baby. My prayers weren't as creative as my little girl's when I was in the hospital. I just kept saying, "Thank you."