I told the Ol' Man I'd be in bed in just a minute. I was going to look up some pictures of my nephew, Jake, that I knew I'd posted on this blog and that I need for a website I'm having made. That was two-and-a-half hours ago. Man, am I going to feel this one tomorrow. At least the latest baby (number 6) has decided sleeping through the night is cool when you're five months old. I got lost in reading old entries on this blog about myself. I laughed, and smiled and remembered and it was all so good and nice. And it makes me think, even if I write one blog post a year - old me is really going to appreciate what April 10, 2015 me decided to write down.
I found a post about when the tall guy that has a ring on his finger that I gave him 10 years ago had come home for lunch and let me know that we weren't going to be able to do an international job we were hoping for. I was super-disappointed. But I figured if I turned it over to Heavenly Father, all would be right. Well now here we are a couple of years later with that international job all set on our docket. I feel God pulling us forward on this one in such a distinct way. I hope I'm prepared for whatever it is that I'm supposed to learn on this adventure - ay-yi-yi. It may be a bit pessimistic, but sometimes when something feels so right, I kind of assume there is some sort of challenge ahead and the feeling of "rightness" is to get me through all the hard stuff, or in a softer way, the learning opportunities, that are a part of the "blessing."
But first we've got to go to Georgia. We're leaving our home of five years in a couple of weeks to go to Georgia right smack-dab in the heat of the humid summer for the Bread Winner to do some work he's got there to do for a year. So I guess I better bite off Georgia first before I go worrying about the not-so-U.S. world.
I'm caught up in the excitement of something new - of a new house, of new people, of a new place to explore, of new opportunities that make me see things newly. But there is definitely an ache for the steadiness of here. We have cultivated in this little pasture for the longest time of our married life. I haven't lived in one spot this long since I left home for college. And I like the cows down the road that we walk to see, I like the field behind our house that is so wide I can't see the other end of it. I like our neighbors and our ward. I like knowing - knowing where I'm going, who I'm seeing, what I need to do and how I'm going to do it in a day.
But it's off to not knowing, and figuring out and becoming something different and hopefully a little better because life is all about becoming a little bit better. But what if this is the part where I get a little bit worse before I get better? Ha! Well, so be it then, I suppose. The fortunate thing is I get to take my family with me and so it's all right, even if it was Napoleon's island of St. Helena we were off to (the kids and I just read about his exile in history so I had to throw that out there. The man! Ho-ly Cow. The man! You try to get him out of your hair on Elbe and he finds a way to get himself right back to trying to kick kings off of their thrones in the heart of Europe. But St. Helena - that did the trick.)
And speaking of conquering, I just have to add that the Linebacker is now at the age of being nervous about going places by himself (I shouldn't call him the Linebacker. He is too sweet for that name). He is especially worried about mice being in the house and finding one of them while he is on his own (a fear that, in the fall, is not l00% ungrounded). So when we send him off to get his pajamas on or put a toy away or brush his teeth when there are not siblings to accompany him we always hear him singing part of the Nutcracker Sweet - the part where the Mouse King is defeated by the Nutcracker and I absolutely, totally, and completely love this way of his of conquering his fear.
And now I'm done. I've got ramblings of a year stored up that I could babble on about but I've also got a plenty-long to-do list for tomorrow.
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